Handicapped

You asked for faithfulness

You asked for my love

You asked for my discipleship 

You asked for my perseverance in all my struggles

You asked for my life

You who have asked for all these have refused me

The image of You
The memory of You

The presence of You

The assurance of Your love

The confidence of my love for You

The words I need to form my prayer

The disposition to enter at the very least into a wordless prayer

The identifications with my past consolations that would be my only strength

The light at the end of the tunnel that would give me even the slightest hope for an eventual liberation

In place of these, You have instead left me with 

Hopelessness

Silence

Silence

Greater silence

Prolonged silence

Insecurities

Distraction after distraction

I am handicapped by the very Person who asks for my response.

Just what do You want? 

14 Feb 2012, Tuesday

2.46pm