Allocutio - "The World is Going Crazy"

“The world is going crazy.” Have you heard or read this line anywhere lately? Strangely, I have received more than one text messages in the last week or so with this sentence included in it. And it was usually followed by an invitation to pray for our crazy-ing world.

But what is making people perceive this way of our world? Could it be that they have noticed a forefront-ing of evil? That evil is prevalent-ing more so now than before? Maybe, they see a society that seemED able to tell good from bad, now seemingly confused about what to paint as white and black. And they sometimes rebel to paint black as white and vice versa. Leaving some others baffled-ing and unrested-ing because this other group of people has faithfully upheld the distinction between black and white.

Perhaps, good and evil have truly become subjective; it all depends on how one defines them for his own life. Pretty much without the need to follow any manmade or God-made rules, like how I am choosing now not to follow some English tenses in my writing because I feel like creative-ing.

Yet, I suspect that you can still understand the message I am trying to convey despite my deliberate misuse of tenses. And if so, would you also be able to understand what our crazy world is trying to convey despite the deliberate misuse of life? Because no matter how she may mutilate life, the one underlying and overarching message is – I am hurting inside; I need love and attention. The deeper the brokenness, the louder the cry for love, the greater the mutilation. And then, the greater the mutilation, the stronger the reaction and rejection from the other side, the deeper the brokenness, the louder the cry for love. Until someone like Pope Francis – thank God for him! – responses in a refreshing manner to reveal to our agitated world God’s compassionate and merciful face. And then, there comes peace, harmony, justice, reconciliation, forgiveness, conversion.

Just as the mutilation of life becomes more explicit and evil is made more visible, what is also becoming more obviously defined is the reality that our physical world has failed miserably to satisfy our true selves. Our restlessness never seems to end. And which leads us to the question, “So… what’s more?” It either directs us to achieve and accumulate more worldly things or it awakens our consciousness to the divine treasures our eyes have yet to be set upon.

Whether she cares to admit it or not, our world needs God. Our world needs the infinite love of God that judges and discriminates not but is always ready to welcome and embrace. The love of God that heals and liberates us from the effects of our wounds. And if there is anyone in the world to facilitate this encounter of God’s love, it is us – Christians. We are the ones who can help rekindle daily in our world the hope that is so easily lost, to spread the love that is so scarce today. We who must not keep Jesus hidden from the world any longer. The true face of Christ that we must first see and experience for ourselves before we can show to others.

It takes effort and time to make space in our lives to encounter this face of Christ ourselves. We need also to be guided by someone who is walking the way ahead of us. Because the image that we have of God more often than not needs alteration and refinement. For our ignorance and a thwarted understanding of God can be a counter-witness and its effects are damaging.

An essential component and also our responsibility in our apostolate work is our nurturing of our Catholic faith and the deepening of our personal relationship with God. Only when we are tuned in to God and are in touch with ourselves can we give Jesus to this hungry, mutilated, confused and aching world. And then, there will be peace, harmony, justice, reconciliation, forgiveness, conversion.

Allocutio - The Art of Hanging

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The past week has seen several prayer intentions circulating in the group. Loved ones passing away, people suffering losses. Not to mention our own challenges each day. We remember with deep sadness too the many victims of the recent attacks around the world. In all these, we might have found ourselves in moments of helplessness, stranded between hopefulness and hopelessness, consolation and dejection. And one might be tempted to ask a very reasonable question, “Where is God?”

While it is important to review the week’s incidents and experiences, to find God in them, today, I would like to suggest a turn of this question. In all these challenges, sufferings, pain, loss, where were you? In the sufferings and helplessness of your life, where were you?

I must admit that in my tough situations, I am usually on the run. It has become such a natural tendency that I subconsciously swing towards. Running away from all my difficult emotions, running away from the reality of what’s happening. I am everywhere else except at my heart, where my emotions reside and try hard to call out for my attention. As far as I can, for as long as possible. I distract myself with anything that will direct my attention away from the awful helplessness and heaviness within. Computer games are good distractors!

Unfortunately, avoiding the difficulties and unpleasant emotions do not make the issue at hand disappear. For over time, anger, frustration, resentment, etc accumulate and my peace diminishes by the minute. It is like plague building up in the arteries and we are almost certain that what follows will be a cardiac arrest. Sooner or later.

The good news is that there is a better way of be-ing. A be-ing that imitates Jesus and Mary. By His divine power, Jesus was not helpless in His passion and death. But He chose to be that way, like a lamb led to the slaughter. Experiencing excruciating pain – physical, emotional and even spiritual when He felt His Father abandoning Him. All Jesus did was to hang there on the cross to bring His Father’s will to total completion.

This image of hanging. It does not require us to be physically hanging on the cross. Rather, it suggests a certain resignation to the cross, no resistance but only an abandonment of oneself into the arms of the one who is truly in control. A hanging that seems like one is doing nothing but one is in fact totally present to every bit of the experience. Mary, as she followed her Son along the way and finally, witnessing the brutal death of her beloved Child on the cross, had her own heart pierced through. She stood there. She remained. Feeling very blow of His, every wound of His. She was completely present to her emotions. She was hanging with Jesus on the cross.

In our apostolate work, we face situations in which there seems to be nothing much we can do at all except to pray. Yet, there may be something more. To be with the helpless one suffering – whether it is another person or ourselves – to hang with this person and with Jesus on the cross. In total solidarity and connection. Because it is this connection that carves out the channel for love to flow. The love of Christ that renews and restores the face of the earth.

In difficult situations, where would you choose to be?

Allocutio - Perfecting the Broth of My Life

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I am not a seasoned chef so I have to follow recipes very closely. Needless to say, the recipe also needs to be foolproof. Yet, I still fumble over the spices and sauces. Always adding a little of this or that which I think will fix the taste, then, tasting the food again, I try to pinpoint what is still lacking in it or what I have added too much of. I might at last come to the long-awaited pmoint of satisfaction with the taste. But that would not be without many repeated attempts at finding out what is lacking and filling in this lack.

In a similar way, we too, in our lives, even as we carry out our apostolate work, may find ourselves having a less than desirable concoction of virtues and vices. Good and bad habits.

The bad news is that unlike cooking, it is far more tedious and challenging to fix ourselves than the taste of food. There seems to always be an internal struggle, a disobedience of the flesh to cooperate with the will. Certain things in others seem to always trigger us, causing us to react rather than respond in loving ways.

I have been struggling a lot for instance with impatience. Especially towards those who do not meet my expectations, and especially when I perceive the matter to be commonsensical. Although these days, I am more aware of this and I can catch myself early enough to hold back a great deal without letting my impatience show too much, I am pretty sure the other party is still able to sense my impatience. I don’t like this impatience but it is there, a thorn in my flesh.

The consoling thing is that even the saints had their share of struggles. As St Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans (7:14-24) “We are well aware that the law is spiritual: but I am a creature of flesh and blood sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand my own behavior; I do not act as I mean to, but I do things that I hate… the good thing I want to do, I never do; the evil thing which I do not want, that is what I do… What a wretched man I am!”

Is there a part of you that is a thorn in your flesh too? If there is, what might this be? How has this thorn caused you to live a less-than-satisfying life? And be a Christian who does not bear full witness to Christ? Does it bother you?

Well, here comes the good news. Jesus has risen, ascended to His Father, and has sent to us the Holy Spirit to be our help. We are approaching the feast of Pentecost. When the disciples, filled with fear, hiding, were given the courage and the gift of different tongues to proclaim the Good News to people from so many different lands. The Spirit lent divine aid and filled the disciples’ lacking so that they could transcend their human limitations and carry out God’s will.

We would be pleading to God in the responsorial psalm on Pentecost Sunday to “send forth (His) Spirit and renew the face of the earth”. Truly, we are not orphans, left to our own devices to fulfill the insurmountable task God puts on each of our shoulders to bear Him to our world. We have the Spirit of our living God, dwelling in us, waiting to fill our lacking and empower us for the work we are called to do.

We need to ask. But what shall we ask for? First, we need to examine ourselves, just as we taste the food that is cooking. To become aware of our strengths and weaknesses, know what we need to overcome the undesirable. Then, as we desire to be better for God, we ask the Spirit to grace us with what we need so that we are moulded increasingly into Christ. Like Mary, who the Holy Spirit overshadowed at the annunciation, may we look to God and daily call upon the Holy Spirit to overshadow us, to continually labour in us, so that we may bring Jesus more fully into the lives of all we meet.

Allocutio - Being a Mother

Have you heard of photograph mosaic or photomosaic? You might have seen one before. It is a photo made up of many small pictures. The object in each small picture is associated with the object portrayed in the larger picture. A photomosaic of a clock is made up of small pictures of different clocks and watches for instance. Each small picture plays a specific purpose of adding the right colour in its specific location to form the larger picture. Here is one of Jesus.

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A photomosaic reminds me very much of the Church, made up of so many small members like us, and collectively forming the image of Christ to the world. But we do not simply put on a preplanned outfit colour, stand together in formation and literally form a human mosaic of Christ’s face. So then how do we bear the image of Christ to our world?

I would like to suggest that like we often hear it being said, “Holy Mother Church”, we bear Christ’s image to our world by being a mother. Not biologically. But in spirit.

A mother becomes a mother by first having her body broken, in one way or another, in order for new life to be brought forth into the world. She continues to give of herself so that this new life is nourished to flourish. A mother listens to recognize in each distinct cry the needs of her child. And having listened, responds to meet those needs, whatever it may demand of her. Tired and exhausted but each time pushing herself an extra inch more to restore her child’s comfort and wellbeing before finally giving herself rest. Tireless. Stretching beyond known limits. Body broken again and again so that life continues.

Not only does a mother break her body for her child. Her will and heart are also bent, broken, in the course of her motherhood. Whenever her child disobeys and errs, whenever she sacrifices her own needs, gives up her lifestyle. How much time and energy has a mother for herself? Especially if she is without the help of her parents, parents-in-law or a helper.

Mothers are models of self-sacrifice, self-giving, self-emptying. As we celebrated Mothers’ Day yesterday, perhaps we might also be invited to delve a little deeper into the significance of the occasion. To give thanks and show our gratitude to our mothers but beyond this, to integrate into our own Christian lives the qualities of a good mother, in the way we reach out to others and labour as ministers of mercy and compassion, love and peace, to make Jesus known and loved. To play our significant and specific role that God has designed for each one of us as a member of His Church so that we may stand in the larger collage of witnesses to bear Christ’s image to our world. Jesus Himself opened His side so that blood and water flowed, giving birth to the Church.

To what extent have we allowed ourselves to be broken in our laboring for God’s kingdom-building? How may we be invited to be like a mother – self-sacrificing, self-giving, self-emptying – in our works today and everyday?