On Holy Saturday...
My faithful God,
when You gaze at the far less faithful me,
what do You see that I do not see?
Which makes You trust in me far more than the hope
I see in myself,
rejoice in me far more than I am pleased with myself,
love me far more than I appreciate the person I am?
You hold me bigger than I do myself
not because I am bigger but that You, my infinite God,
are far beyond me.
Your eyes see not my current state.
Instead, You know Your authority over the movements of my heart.
And You see me from the reality of Your power.
My daily preoccupations add nothing to Your royalty.
And my own impatience becomes a fool before Your eternity.
All my frailties, like the whole of me,
become invisible before Your mighty splendour,
which penetrates through my darkness
to shine out in brilliant light.
How can I give my lifelong yes to You?
As if I have knowledge of what will befall me tomorrow?
Knowing how easily I fall from grace,
wouldn't it be prudent then to admit
that my yes would be mingled with many nos?
And aren't You found even here, in the mixture of imperfections?
Isn't this what You came to show us when You,
the perfect Being, mingled with us sinners?
I can only give You my every-moment-yes.
Moment by moment.
Falling from grace from time to time and yet,
this falling is no less a falling into Your hands
for You will be there to catch me.
Your graces increase in me that leads me to the next yes.
And only by this -
constant falling into You,
constant dependence on Your graces -
can my every-moment-yes carry me towards my lifelong yes,
that yes made complete when I finally stand before Your unveiled face,
in the glory of Your resurrection.
My God, let this be so and all will know that You are God,
the faithful God behind my every-moment-yes.