Allocutio - Evangelization - Love through Forgiveness

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Do you have enemies? I thought for some time and fortunately, I think I don't! So when I hear Jesus say, “Love your enemies”, I am tempted to exempt myself from this commandment. But can I? Jesus has set the extreme situation for us. If He has asked us to love even our enemies, who else then in our lives are we exempted from loving truly? Those non-enemies who I still find annoying and disappointing, … those, who by their action or non-action make me feel the underlying wound of unlove. I don’t need to fight these people in battle but they cause me unpleasant feelings within that I need to struggle with. How do I forget myself and love anyway? How do we bear witness to Christ in all situations to all people so that “…all will know that (we) are (His) disciples” Jn 13:35 and thus, evangelize? Tall order for me! How about you?

During one of my retreats, I found myself one day struggling a great deal with my anger towards a particular person who I found very self-centered, unreliable and therefore, someone I could not trust. Living with such a person was life-depleting and bearing the feelings she triggered in me was tiring. Yet, I was called to love her. I spent a long time complaining to Jesus about her, telling Him how ridiculously impossible it was to love her. After all, she was not going to change. My unspoken condition for loving her was that she needed to change and be better.

But Jesus made it very clear for us to understand in Lk 6:32, 

“If you love those who love you, what credit can you expect? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit can you expect? For even sinners do that much.”

Throughout my complaining to Jesus, reasoning out with Him, even to the point of talking a walk to the beach to ease the tension within, He remained silent. I asked, “Why are You so quiet after I have said so much? Can You say something to help me out of this anger?” I was staring out at sea on the tiny island of Cheung Chau, frustrated at my frustration, and He replied, “Love needs no justification.” Immediately, I shut up. Because I understood. Jesus needs no reason to love us. He loves because He chooses to. That’s it. I'm called to do likewise.

When I cooled down after that, I learned that I cannot love a difficult person without first forgiving her for her wrongs. And the way to forgiveness is to place my own wrongs before me. How have I also been self-centered, unreliable, untrustworthy? When I examined this person’s flaws in my own self, I realized I had failed too in the same way. And just as God loves me in my sinfulness, no one needs to be perfect for me to love them.

Our sins pit us as God’s enemies. Yet, instead of justifiably striking us down, Jesus on the cross even went so far as to give us His mother, who, did not hold it against us for the cruel death of her Son but embraced humanity as her children. Can we ever justify our failure to love anyone, however painful and difficult that may be?

Love needs no justification.

Forgive by first placing my own sins before me.

We are soon approaching Holy Week and in preparation for this, the Church is invited this week especially to penitence. Let us take time to examine our conscience more thoroughly, and enter more deeply into the awareness of how we have hurt Jesus and our relationship with Him. How He has continued to love us despite our failure to return His love. Our depth of sorrow transforms into the depth of joy and refreshment experienced when the priest gives the absolution and we know that our relationship with Jesus has been reset once again. 

"So I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; hence, she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.” Lk 7:47

By ourselves experiencing the compassionate mercy of God, we can then be compassionate and merciful towards others, so that all will know that we are Christ’s disciples. 

Allocutio for Our Lady of Victories Presidium - 4 April 2017 

Allocutio - Evangelization - Love through Prayer [II]

Allocutio for Our Lady of Victories Presidium - 7 March 2017

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What is the difference between a meeting with a good old friend and potential parents-in-law?

I have had potential parents-in-law before and meeting them brought me more stress than meeting anyone else. Imagine that first meeting! I paid tremendous attention on the way I dressed, sat, ate, and spoke, even on the amount of food I put on my plate. I put my usual flaws before me all the time and watched very carefully not to say anything to give myself away. What a silly insecurity I had, which did not trust that I would be loved for who I am. And so, I had to give the impression that I am virtuous and well-mannered, and will be a good partner and future addition to the family. I needed their approval. And I was not going to be totally transparent and honest about who I am. At least not yet. Maybe not until the relationship develops further to a certain level of trust and comfort. And that is only maybe.

How pleasantly different it is when I think about meeting a good friend instead. I feel immediately at ease. Relaxed. For I know the approval has already been given, in good times and in bad, in my beauty as well as in my ugliness. I trust my good friend to enjoy my strengths and walk with me through my weaknesses. She pains with me in my difficulties and is relieved with me when things turn for the better. All these I am drawn also to do and be for her. Have you encountered such a relationship before?

I dare to tell her how she has hurt me or to argue over a disagreement because I trust in who I mean to her and can feel secure enough to be dead honest. Each encounter is marked by the quality of the time spent together, the depth of sharing invested, and the life and love I (and she) receive from the encounter. There is growth, connection, deepening and I learn more about myself and her and others and God.

Two different meetings, bringing out very different essences of me, and two starkly different experiences and effects on me and the other.

What is prayer like for you? When you meet Jesus and Mary in prayer, who do you meet? Who do you present to them? Do you notice any reservations or discomfort about being your true self in prayer?

In the past 2 weeks, I shared about evangelization, a facilitation of another person’s true encounter with God by being love to the person. Being love by first being loved ourselves, firstly, by God in prayer.

“The object of the Legion of Mary,” as stated on p.11 of the Legion handbook, “is the glory of God through the holiness of its members developed by prayer and active cooperation…” And on p.13, “While on earth her (Mary’s) life was like that of any other, … always, however, she remained intimately united to her Son and cooperated in … the Saviour’s work…”

Jesus invites us to follow Mary’s example of always being intimately united to Him. And a prerequisite of this intimacy is being authentic with Him. He knows all that is in us and already loves us as we are. There is no need to do anything or be anyone to win His love. He desires to be with the real us in our real experiences, not the façade of who we want to be or portray ourselves to be.

So when I am angry, even with Jesus, I tell Him I am angry and complain to Him about Him. When I am hurt and cannot forgive, I tell Him that I know I should forgive this person but right now, no! And I throw my tantrums. Not because He does not already know what is inside me but when I articulate it, I am acknowledging and expressing what is otherwise trapped or suppressed inside. This primarily benefits me. And then in whatever I am experiencing, He speaks, persuades, moves my heart, reveals, guides, loves, heals, forgives.

Some of the fruits of such prayer are a deepening personal relationship with God, our growing into the likeness of God who is love, and the bringing of this love into our relationships with others – evangelization.

Slowly but surely, let us allow ourselves to be loved and filled for the apostolic work by a more authentic prayer life. 

Allocutio - Evangelization - Love through Prayer

Allocutio for Our Lady of Victories Legion of Mary Presidium - 27 February 2017

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Last week, I shared about love being the underlying intention and energy of our evangelizing works. So... would you consider yourself as a person filled with love that flows out to others?

For me, I struggle very much to be love to others. The words I know will hurt but I still say them in my anger. The words I know will comfort but I do not say because I am afraid of that person’s reaction. The forgiveness I refuse the one who has caused me so much pain and I choose instead to hold my anger. The patience I refuse the inconsiderate driver taking advantage of me. And Jesus said, “Love your enemies.” HOW? Even to love the seemingly harmless people may at times be a challenge when I am tired, when I have a whole load of things to finish and I have no time, when I am too caught up with my own life to be available to others. 

How can I love more? Is it by trying even harder? By downplaying my anger and hurt, my need for rest and for time to finish my duties?

I would like to suggest that we love by first allowing ourselves to be loved. By we ourselves encountering love; encountering God. We are blessed with people who love us, however small or great the deed. God is loving us through these people. However, the fast pace of most of our lives do not allow us time to pause, recognise and savour how loved we are. The love passes us by, unnoticed, unreceived. 

We can also come to the direct experience of God’s love for us in our prayers, when we contemplate the Gospel passages, when we receive a healing, when we witness a miracle, a difficult situation turns for the better. When we have a God-experience, the usual emotion is great joy. But like the high of a retreat, it tends to fizzle away after awhile and life resumes its normal momentum. 

The truth is... We cannot give from an emptiness. To love in our apostolate work, we need first to be filled with love. This does not happen naturally. Time and effort are required for us to receive love. And we do this through prayer. A deepening personal relationship with Jesus. And you might have heard this many times over and are already a praying person. But allow me to highlight its importance once again. 

I am referring to conversational prayers, where we sit before Jesus as we are, in our anger, joys, tears, unforgiveness, excitement. And we tell Him all about us in all honesty, scold if we need to, complain, cry, smile from ear to ear, say a thousand 'thank yous'. And then listen to His soft promptings in our hearts, noticing what He is trying to say to us. Experiencing Him loving us in our pain, persuading us in our stubbornness, loving us in our rejections, forgiving us in our failures. In prayer, the Holy Spirit also reveals to us how we are loved or unloved, leading us to savour the love, allowing it to move our hearts and guide us to share this love also with others. And towards the un-love we experience, we can seek the grace to forgive and be consoled by a God who loves us infinitely. 

The fruit of prayer is that it positively affects our interactions with people. The love we receive shows up in the way we are with one another. Love is always self-giving and cannot wait to pour itself out to those around. Prayer does not change our situations or the unlovable person we find so hard to love. It changes us. Our hearts. If we do not notice our interactions with people becoming more life-giving over time, we might like to examine the quality of our prayer life. 

We are told several times in the Gospel that “Mary pondered these things in her heart.” Mary was always connected with God. Always pondering, to hold in her heart her experiences, not yet fully understanding them but allowing God to slowly reveal Himself. A sense of attentiveness to what God might be saying, leading, calling forth. The Collect prayer at Mass last week read, "... that, always pondering spiritual things, we may carry out in both word and deed that which is pleasing to you." From what are we doing the apostolate work that we are doing, if not from prayer and a deepening personal relationship with Jesus? This is the starting point.

Prayer is also what is asked of us during this season of Lent. Prayer in which we allow God to move our hearts to where they need to be so that we can become true vessels of love to those we are called to evangelize. Let us deepen our prayer life this Lent.

Allocutio - Evangelization - Intention of Love

Allocutio for the Legion of Mary meeting - 20 February 2017

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One big aspect of being a Legionary is the apostolate work we do, which is actually evangelization.

Fr Bede McGregor, O.P gave this definition of evangelization at the 2012 International Eucharistic Congress. 

He said:

"Evangelization is facilitating an authentic meeting of another person with Jesus Christ…"

“Authentic”. There are many imitation goods circulating in the markets in our time. You might have watched the online video. We can even use plastic to make something that looks and feels so much like a real cabbage. But however similar it is, it is not real. And how do we tell? By the substance. What is beneath the superficial that the eye cannot see.

I would like to suggest that it is also possible to facilitate imitation meetings of people with Jesus through the work that we do in His Name. Acts we may perform that look charitable, kind, loving. But the substance beneath the surface might not actually be charity, kindness and love. It may be obligation, self-glorification, even Christian duty and the list goes on.

The truth is… Imitation meetings with Jesus cannot allow a person to truly encounter Him. And that is not evangelisation.

Since God is love, authentic encounters with Jesus is the encounter with love itself. When we love and the person experiences this love, he is experiencing God, even though he may not be aware it is God. I was working in a women's shelter, and there were moments a girl was crying because of family problems. I can be beside her and place my hand on her back to comfort her. But I can do that while thinking about something else actually or just telling myself that she is crying, I am a staff here, and so I should do something to comfort her. In my heart, I am not with her in her pain, I am not loving her by my presence, and she will not experience love. 

The work we do becomes only the router for us to transmit the signal of love. And only then can the person come to know Jesus and the compassionate love of God. John Powell wrote, “Unselfish human love is the sacramental introduction to the God of love.”

And this is our call and purpose of our Legionary work. We work as part of a larger reality of Church, to continue Jesus’ mission of spreading the Good News of God’s infinite love for His people. Our apostolate work is not just to make a suffering person feel better, to offer help to one who is not coping optimally, etc. These are different expressions of our one underlying mission to continue the mission of Jesus.

And this was what Mary did, especially by being herself the vessel that brought Jesus into our world. She gave Love to us. We are familiar with the story of the Annunciation. Her ‘yes’ was needed for the incarnation, for God to love us through Jesus. Similarly, our ‘yes’ is needed for the continued incarnation of God through our apostolate work. Not just an imitation incarnation but that deep within us as we are performing each work, we love. In what we say, we love. In what we hold ourselves back from saying or doing, we love. That love becomes the energy at the foundation of all we think, say and do.

I would like to invite us in this week, in all our daily routines and the additional we may do as our Legionary apostolate work, that we pay extra attention to our very subtle intentions. May we be more conscious to love as Jesus loves us. Amen.