Our Cross & Jesus

With each swallow, it is as if a knife is cutting through the throat.

I thought about the poor suffering people struck down with throat cancer. 

How much more pain they must feel.

Jesus must have felt so much more pain when those whips ripped his flesh apart.

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With the alternating cold-hot sensations of fever, the icy cold hands and feet,

it brings to mind those who are suffering dengue fever.

How much more unbearable the body aches and temperature swings must be.

Jesus must have felt so cold too, naked on the cross, the wind blowing directly on his open wounds.

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With the thought of the needle piercing through my skin and being left there throughout the procedure, 

it brings to mind the diabetes patients on dialysis, whose needles in their hands are far larger.

Yet, what more excruciating is the pain Jesus endured when nails hammered right through his hands and feet.

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When I woke from the sedation, my empty stomach could not take the Milo given and I threw up there and then.

I thought about the poor suffering people who cannot eat and drink, especially those plagued by stomach cancer; how restricted the diets of those with illnesses.

And what about those who cannot afford food or drink and are starving to death?

How we take our food for granted; how we take our abilities to eat and drink for granted! To fast a meal or make a little sacrifice is met with rejection more often than not. 

How Jesus must have felt so hungry those 40 days in the desert; how He must have felt weak from hunger with the heavy crosses (physical, emotional and spiritual) He bore to Calvary. 

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Going to the waiting area and then to the surgery room, one cannot put on make up, bring any companions, possessions; even the clothes worn are provided by the hospital. One would realise at that point in time that everyone gathered in the anxious wait to be called into the room have no differentiation. No matter what status, academic qualifications, amount of wealth, size of house, car model, number of family members and friends, beauty or beast, race, religion, nationality... All are still waiting to lie on the surgery bed for the same medical procedures. No one can bring in any companions or any mode of communication with the world outside. Everyone is alone. There, there is only 1 possibility i.e. the companion of God, Mary & the angels and saints. And truly, only with Jesus, Mary & the Saints, whose lives are the greatest examples of faith, courage and love, can we obtain the strength, courage, faith and love that we so need to carry the painful crosses for God. It is only when we are familiar with the lives of the Saints and those beatified that we know to offer up our sufferings for the conversion of sinners, the reparation of sins and for the Holy Father who faces much persecution. Our sufferings can then be meaningful.

22 January 2011, Saturday

9.17pm