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The past week has seen several prayer intentions circulating in the
group. Loved ones passing away, people suffering losses. Not to mention our own
challenges each day. We remember with deep sadness too the many victims of the
recent attacks around the world. In all these, we might have found ourselves in
moments of helplessness, stranded between hopefulness and hopelessness,
consolation and dejection. And one might be tempted to ask a very reasonable
question, “Where is God?”
While it is important to review the week’s incidents and experiences,
to find God in them, today, I would like to suggest a turn of this question. In
all these challenges, sufferings, pain, loss, where were you? In the sufferings
and helplessness of your life, where were you?
I must admit that in my tough situations, I am usually on the run. It
has become such a natural tendency that I subconsciously swing towards. Running
away from all my difficult emotions, running away from the reality of what’s
happening. I am everywhere else except at my heart, where my emotions reside
and try hard to call out for my attention. As far as I can, for as long as
possible. I distract myself with anything that will direct my attention away
from the awful helplessness and heaviness within. Computer games are good
distractors!
Unfortunately, avoiding the difficulties and unpleasant emotions do
not make the issue at hand disappear. For over time, anger, frustration,
resentment, etc accumulate and my peace diminishes by the minute. It is like
plague building up in the arteries and we are almost certain that what follows
will be a cardiac arrest. Sooner or later.
The good news is that there is a better way of be-ing. A be-ing that
imitates Jesus and Mary. By His divine power, Jesus was not helpless in His
passion and death. But He chose to be that way, like a lamb led to the
slaughter. Experiencing excruciating pain – physical, emotional and even
spiritual when He felt His Father abandoning Him. All Jesus did was to hang
there on the cross to bring His Father’s will to total completion.
This image of hanging. It does not require us to be physically
hanging on the cross. Rather, it suggests a certain resignation to the cross,
no resistance but only an abandonment of oneself into the arms of the one who
is truly in control. A hanging that seems like one is doing nothing but one is
in fact totally present to every bit of the experience. Mary, as she followed
her Son along the way and finally, witnessing the brutal death of her beloved
Child on the cross, had her own heart pierced through. She stood there. She
remained. Feeling very blow of His, every wound of His. She was completely
present to her emotions. She was hanging with Jesus on the cross.
In our
apostolate work, we face situations in which there seems to be nothing much we
can do at all except to pray. Yet, there may be something more. To be with the helpless
one suffering – whether it is another person or ourselves – to hang with this
person and with Jesus on the cross. In total solidarity and connection. Because
it is this connection that carves out the channel for love to flow. The love of
Christ that renews and restores the face of the earth.
In difficult
situations, where would you choose to be?
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