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I am not a seasoned chef so I have to follow recipes very closely.
Needless to say, the recipe also needs to be foolproof. Yet, I still fumble
over the spices and sauces. Always adding a little of this or that which I
think will fix the taste, then, tasting the food again, I try to pinpoint what
is still lacking in it or what I have added too much of. I might at last come
to the long-awaited pmoint of satisfaction with the taste. But that would not be
without many repeated attempts at finding out what is lacking and filling in
this lack.
In a similar way, we too, in our lives, even as we carry out our
apostolate work, may find ourselves having a less than desirable concoction of
virtues and vices. Good and bad habits.
The bad news is that unlike cooking, it is far more tedious and
challenging to fix ourselves than the taste of food. There seems to always be
an internal struggle, a disobedience of the flesh to cooperate with the will.
Certain things in others seem to always trigger us, causing us to react rather
than respond in loving ways.
I have been struggling a lot for
instance with impatience. Especially towards those who do not meet my
expectations, and especially when I perceive the matter to be commonsensical.
Although these days, I am more aware of this and I can catch myself early
enough to hold back a great deal without letting my impatience show too much, I
am pretty sure the other party is still able to sense my impatience. I don’t
like this impatience but it is there, a thorn in my flesh.
The consoling thing is that even the saints had their share of
struggles. As St Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans (7:14-24) “We are well
aware that the law is spiritual: but I am a creature of flesh and blood sold as
a slave to sin. I do not understand my own behavior; I do not act as I mean to,
but I do things that I hate… the good thing I want to do, I never do; the evil
thing which I do not want, that is what I do… What a wretched man I am!”
Is there a part of you that is a thorn in your flesh too? If there
is, what might this be? How has this thorn caused you to live a
less-than-satisfying life? And be a Christian who does not bear full witness to
Christ? Does it bother you?
Well, here comes the good news. Jesus
has risen, ascended to His Father, and has sent to us the Holy Spirit to be our
help. We are approaching the feast of Pentecost. When the disciples, filled
with fear, hiding, were given the courage and the gift of different tongues to
proclaim the Good News to people from so many different lands. The Spirit lent
divine aid and filled the disciples’ lacking so that they could transcend their
human limitations and carry out God’s will.
We would be pleading to God in the
responsorial psalm on Pentecost Sunday to “send forth (His) Spirit and renew
the face of the earth”. Truly, we are not orphans, left to our own devices to
fulfill the insurmountable task God puts on each of our shoulders to bear Him
to our world. We have the Spirit of our living God, dwelling in us, waiting to
fill our lacking and empower us for the work we are called to do.
We need to ask. But what shall we ask
for? First, we need to examine ourselves, just as we taste the food that is cooking.
To become aware of our strengths and weaknesses, know what we need to overcome the
undesirable. Then, as we desire to be better for God, we ask the Spirit to
grace us with what we need so that we are moulded increasingly into Christ. Like
Mary, who the Holy Spirit overshadowed at the annunciation, may we look to God
and daily call upon the Holy Spirit to overshadow us, to continually labour in
us, so that we may bring Jesus more fully into the lives of all we meet.
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