Opened Arms

When I was a child, right up till now, the number of times I made my own parents upset are countless. Each time I blurted out something that was rude, disrespectful or insulting, I would know it when my parents flare up at me, become upset themselves or when my conscience rise up against me right in my face and I'd know I had done wrong. It upsets me to know I've caused sadness to my beloved parents. And I would try to seek forgiveness by bringing up a different topic or try to be more light-hearted, hoping so much they would quickly forgive me. And they always did. No matter how hurting my words were, no matter how unappreciative I was, they were always willing to extend their arms to forgive me and have me back in their loving arms. It is not that they have no choice since they are my parents but because they have a choice and they would always choose to act in love towards me that make them the most precious people I have and will always have in my entire lifetime. That is what makes their love for me so pure since they ask nothing in return though I know for a fact that they would only want me to love them and to love myself by giving myself what's best and by treating myself well. Such is the great unconditional and limitless love of my parents. 

From the love of my parents, I come to discover gradually what God's love for me is like. And I am struck with the unfathomable mystery of God's ultimate love. Since my parents are humans with flaws and limitations, and yet they are able to extend what a selfless love towards me, I cannot, with my limited human understanding, fathom what God's love really is in its totality. What I know is that each time I sin, each time I choose to neglect God for the many other excuses I cook up each day, each time my conscience prick and I start to turn back to God, He is always welcoming me back with opened and compassionate arms. Such is the mercy and graciousness of God. Such is His infinite love and forgiveness. He looks upon us with pity. 

We are His creatures and yet, the Creator has to suffer rejection even now, by the way we choose to lead out lives. And God asks, "But you, who do you say I am?" Is God someone we can make use of and take for granted just because He is all loving, forgiving, merciful and compassionate? No. That will be the greatest insult - to use God's goodness against Him. We cannot go on leading sinful lives with the idea that eventually, when we turn back to God, He will forgive us anyway. When we choose against God's way of life, we are at the losing end. We end up as the biggest losers for we will lose not only God but also, ourselves and our true identity that cannot be separated from our Creator, our God. We cannot deny our connection to God and lead our lives as if God didn't matter. We will be going against our very nature and purpose since God made us to love Him and our pilgrimage here on earth is meant to be a journey to discover God and to walk towards Him from our conception to our death. It's like trying to force the like poles of 2 magnets to attract when nature's way is for them to repel. It's like trying to walk up a wall when nature's way is for gravity to pull us back to the ground. What is against our nature is unnatural. What is unnatural is not life-giving for it is when all is in perfect harmony according to how God wills it that there is life which flows, inspired by the Holy Spirit. 

What are the sins we are still holding on to? Sins of others and of ourselves that we are still unwilling to let go of? What are the sins we have not forgiven? It is when we let go of our stubbornness and choose to forgive others that God's grace can flow once again into our hearts for us to be able to experience God's forgiveness of our own sinfulness. We must want to forgive and we must want forgiveness. We must want to strive towards that perfect harmony between self and the environment for that is what God wills. God is always waiting with opened arms for us to return back to Him and remain with Him. Do we search for this patient God or are we still keeping Him waiting? And when we search for Him, why do we do so? Are we genuine in our love for Him or is there something from Him we want in return? Do we search for God because we love Him, because we long for Him, because we want to respond to His call for us?

The path across the field has been less travelled. It is now grown with weeds and grass. It is not visible to our eyes anymore and we've long forgotten the position or direction of the path. Slowly, weed by weed, grass by grass, we need to clear them out and re-establish a clear path. This clear path is our relationship and connection with and to God. When left stale for a long time, we have long forgotten how to connect again to God. Step by step, clearing out the weeds, we will find back the path to God and we can be sure He is already waiting at the end of the path for us, with arms wide opened. 

3 August 2010

12.31am