Patience. A rather difficult feat, and still growing in its level of difficulty as each day passes. Impatience within the family, at school, at work, at the marketplace, at the malls, on the roads especially. We may try very hard to be patient but before long, we break and we snap, we horn, we curse, we scold. An argument results, disharmony in the family, hurtful words hurled with no turning back. Regret and remorse are left when the spurt of frustration dissipates. Discouraged, we try to find some strength to convince ourselves to do better next time. But why this lack of patience? This lack of love?
Impatience, like sadness and anger, is a telling sign that something does not sit quite right within us. It could be work stress that is telling us that our bodies and minds have been ill-treated. It could be a person who have hurt us in the past and without knowing it, some resentment is still lurking around in some corner of our hearts. Whatever the cause, impatience seems to point towards a disharmony, a lack of peace in our relationship - with ourselves, with God, with fellow men.
And when faced with such a disharmony, it is futile to just suppress our frustrations and simply tell ourselves to try again the next time. This method, though quick and easy, does not arrest the problem at its deeper, underlying cause. We are just pretending to be alright.
At this point, it might be helpful to recall one or more incidents in which you lost your patience.
One of the possible ways to curb impatience might be forgiveness rather than suppression. And it might well be a very important prayer component throughout each day.
Besides doing an examination of conscience and seeking God's forgiveness for the wrong done and the good undone for the day, perhaps, this whole issue of forgiveness needs to take both directions - of looking at the areas I need forgiveness and of looking at the areas I need to grant forgiveness. After all, we cannot pray the Our Father with "...forgive us our trespasses and lead us not into temptations..." Jesus taught us in the prayer, "... forgive us our trespasses as WE FORGIVE those who trespassed against us..." Both are taken as one entity. We are asking that God forgives us in the same way as we forgive others.
When we have forgiven and let go of the hurt, the resentment, and pushing the 'reset' button in our relationships, only then can we be patient with one another because there is no more accumulated animosity. Each encounter becomes a fresh encounter. Isn't it true that most of our arguments are powered out of proportion by built-up frustrations, be it with the person we are arguing or with others in unrelated incidents, or perhaps, even with ourselves? And at times, the person we need most to forgive is ourselves. Times when we wanted to do better but did not, when we fall short. If we are not even secure and at peace with ourselves, holding onto so much tension, how can we be at peace in any other relationship? How can there be understanding and kindness?
Often, we do not really bring to awareness our unpleasant feelings, let alone the ones who may have caused them. Without this awareness, we cannot possibly make that deliberate act to forgive the person. Thus, in prayer, and in fact, throughout the day, we must at least have brief moments of bringing our attention to the inner most part of our beings, get in touch with the feelings that lie so unnoticed, and see if there is anyone we need to forgive. Praying for God's grace to forgive, we let go of the hurts and restore the peace in our hearts.
We are not born into this world as impatient beings. Perhaps, if we find it in our hearts the courage and love to forgive truly those who have hurt us, we might find that patience isn't all too impossible after all.
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