Responsible Living

Have you ever yearned for something so much that you were almost suffocated by the conflict between desire and deprivation?

For those of us who practice fasting, or perhaps the abstinence from meat on Fridays, you can probably relate well to this conflict. I have always found the normally unattractive meat dishes unusually tempting and appetizing on Fridays. When I was coughing badly some time back, I had to refrain from eating my favourite deep fried food and from drinking anything that would aggravate my condition. Cold food and beverages were removed from my diet for almost 2 months, and this was extremely painful especially in the hot weather of Singapore.

While Friday passes and Saturday comes again and I resume my meat diet, while my cough eventually was cured and I was again drinking my cold drinks, what is it like to be deprived of a desire for an entire lifetime? And perhaps, not because a flu bug struck, not because I chose to be deprived... but because someone else was morally irresponsible and had dragged me and my entire life down into the dungeon, in which the light never shines, nor is there an opening for my escape? Because of this someone, my life is unlike that of most others, my life never sees the light of hope, my life seems cursed without a cure because someone else decided to think only of himself/herself.

All over our world, countless children are suffering from HIV. Some of them are born with it because their mothers were already carrying the virus during pregnancy. Others, while taking care of their parents with HIV, contracted it by accident. Whichever the case, it leaves them with much resentment because while other children at their ages are playing, attending school, growing up, falling in love, marrying and starting their own families in due time, these with HIV are living in constant uncertainty of when the virus in them is going to act up and turn their bodies upside down. They fall ill so easily because their immune system is weak. A flu bug can send them so badly infected that they end up almost dying, or dead, in hospitals. They carry with them the deeply rooted tension and need for answers to why their parents had given this virus to them, why they cannot be healthy like other children, why is life unfair towards them, why were they even born when all there is in life is suffering. They yearn for a childhood, for a family, for love, for a life that they see in others but know in their hearts they will never ever have. And it is not even their fault.

These children are born into this world, bearing the consequences of another's sins. But they are not the only proof to us that our thoughts, words and actions do, in actual fact, bring about adverse effects. Whenever there is a cause, there must be an effect. And every effect must have a cause. It takes a person so embedded in lies to have his perception so masked in falsehood, disconnected from the reality of life, to go about his daily living without a clue of the repercussions of his way of being.

When society (which happens to be made up of human beings) decided to advance in the name of seeking a better quality of life, it had already consented to oppress the poor. How else can people get rich if it does not rob the poor?

When society decided to advocate for peace by using violent means, it had already consented to rid peace and security out of our hearts. How else can war and terrorism cause us to feel?

When society decided on the rule of life to be that of pleasure-seeking, it had  already consented to high divorce and suicide rates. It had already consented to instil the strong essence of the SELF in each individual. How else can we obtain a pleasurable life if "I" am not in the centre of this life?

When you and I did not decide to shut the mouth in anger, hadn't we already decided to act upon this anger, and thus, hadn't we already consented to hurt the other person?

When you and I did not decide to hold back our prejudices against another, hadn't we already decided we are going to allow ourselves to gossip about him, and thus, hadn't we already consented to disfiguring that person?

Our decisions and indecisions both bring about consequences that no one can avoid or deny. If these consequences are borne by ourselves, so be it. But what if they fall upon innocent persons, which is more often than not the case, like those HIV children?

What are we doing with our God-given freedom of choice? Our responsibility towards ourselves and our fellow human beings? Must we always be the consequent bearer of another's sins before we learn to consider those others who bear ours? Must we always learn life the hard way? Must we always live with regrets?

How are you using your freedom of choice from day to day?
How responsible have you decided to be? Or have you decided not to decide so as to mask indifference with ignorance?

30 November 2011, Tuesday
12.17am