Prayer - This is for You, Jesus

Jesus was in the garden of olives. He was praying and was in intense agony. He was afraid, so very afraid as He saw before Him what He was about to face - loneliness, excruciating pain, inhumane torture, abandonment, betrayal, rejection, hatred, accusations, embarrassment, humiliation, insult, being subjected to man's spiting, slapping, hitting, kicking, pushing and shoving, ridicule, mockery, disbelief... all the consequences of choosing to take up our heavy crosses. He who is pure and spotless, He who is God. He who chose freely and was not forced to take this road. This road of suffering which we carve out by our own sinfulness for Jesus to walk for us. And we force Him to walk on daily on this path of pain by our daily sinning and lack of whole-hearted remorse and repentance. At times, we even wonder why this whole emphasis on our sinfulness and the need to keep reminding ourselves of our sins. Most of the time, we don't even want to look at our sins that much other than at penitential service. We cause Him pain and yet, we don't give it due severity, in the most indifferent and unconcerned manner.

Yet, in His agony, in His fears, as He struggles to denial Himself, to fight against the discouragement of the evil one to obey His Father's Will, He suddenly turns to us, still full of anguish, looks compassionately into our eyes and says...

This is for you. 

I choose this cup... with you in My mind and heart.

And seeing your sinfulness, seeing also the goodness in your heart, 

I know it is all worthwhile.

He stands up and surrenders Himself to His murderers, to His Father's Plan of Salvation for us. 

Can you feel His anguish? Can you feel His fears and anxieties? Can you understand what a heavy burden this is for one man to bear? Can you feel His love and compassion? Can you feel His selflessness? Can you feel His mercy? The Lord of our lives... 

Now, as He is bound and led away from the garden, He turns back and looks intently at you and I, no longer in battle with His fears but on His face, a sense of peace emerges because He has found the reason to face the cross of ours He has made His own - love for His Father and for you and I. But His eyes plead earnestly with us to, from this moment on, choose every thought, word and deed ... with Him etched in our minds and hearts, knowing that for Him, it is worthwhile. When faced with our daily decisions, when faced with our daily crosses, let the prayer of our hearts be, "My Jesus, I choose ... (decision)... keeping You in my mind and heart, knowing that for You, it is worthwhile. Amen."

18 April 2011, Monday

11.04pm