Pine Trees vs Shrubs

Morning Devotion by Jeraldine

同学们，早上好。请问你们知道什么是松树吗？PINE TREES。那，你们知道松树有什么用途吗？造房子，家具等。你们知道什么是荆棘吗？它是一种有刺的植物，没什么用处。它们之间有什么关系，听我说个小故事：

有一棵松树对一片荆棘说：“你们一点用处也没有。而我，盖房子，建教堂，都用得着。”

荆棘回答：“可怜的松树，如果你想想，斧头和锯把你砍到的情景，你就一定情愿和我一样了。”

松树反驳道：“哼！我宁愿被人砍死，尚且有用。不要像你因为没用而被人烧死。”

同学们，你们认为自己是松树还是荆棘呢？那，你想当松树还是荆棘呢？

人生必须有用才有价值。无用的人生等于那人已经死了。耶稣一生只活了三十三岁，但他的影响却是千千万万年的。为什么呢？因为他把生命奉献给天主使用。真正生命的延长，是当我们在世上活着的时候，不浪费时间，把每个小时都用在有意义的事上，把短暂的生命奉献给天主使用。这胜过长命百岁，浪费一生。

同学们，你的生命奉献给了谁？你每天是浪费宝贵的时间做无聊的事还是珍惜学习的每一刻？想一想吧！愿天主祝福你，给你智慧！阿门！

The "Les Misérables" Story of Our Lives

Do you remember your teenage years? The most tumultuous phase of growing up. One marked with many raging emotions. Many of us might recall being our parents' worst nightmare because in this stage of transition, we are fighting to form our identities, separate from our parents. To be individuals who no longer need to succumb to the control of an authoritative figure. A fight for freedom. 

In those days, what was your understanding of freedom? Has it changed ever since? 

What IS freedom? 

Perhaps when we were younger, we would have thought of freedom as the given leeway to do as we please, contrasting to having to follow someone's instructions and commands, and face the consequences if we do not. And in some cases, we do not quite grow out of this understanding of freedom. 

When I recalled my moments of wanting freedom as a teenager, and examined my true intentions, I noticed that actually, this cry for freedom stemmed from the desire to want to live life in my own stubborn ways. Right or wrong, that no one comes to fuss or nag at me. I choose. I am in control. 

At times, people comment that marriage is a loss of freedom, that having children is a loss of freedom. People choose not to get married because they do not wish to be tied down, to accommodate other people in their lives, people of whom they have no control over. To some (not all) of these people, remaining freed of the restrictions of marital vows might be that leeway that allows for multiple partners, a change in partner when the previous no longer appeals. An unwillingness to commit and to give of oneself totally, once and for all. 

In the story of Les Misérables, we find many characters trapped in their own ways, robbed of their freedom. The prisoners were trapped in living hell, awaiting their day of parole and the expiration of their term. Jean Valjean was trapped in his hatred and scorn towards his oppressor, inspector Javert, who himself was trapped within his prejudices and mercilessness towards the prisoners. The Thénardiers were caged in by their greed and their assumed superiority over Cosette, who as a young child was abused and left to her own defences. Freedom to these characters would mean a life that is freed from their oppressors in whatever forms they may be disguised in.

Sin enslaves us in the clutches of evil. Freedom is not to be without restrictions so that we can do as we please in an irresponsible and unethical manner. Freedom is not an inward gaze into myself, which forgets the other. 

Can a prisoner feel free? Is our inner freedom dependent on our circumstances, our life situations?

Freedom is the ability to choose good when bad seems safer, more convenient and more promising. Freedom is to be able to live without the restrictions of fear and anxiety. That when others threaten, we are able to stand our grounds and not be shaken. That when confronted, we are able to remain cool and not be provoked. That when mistreated, we are able to forgive and let go, and not be consumed by anger. Jean Valjean's life was turned around only when he opened his heart and allowed the healing grace of God to make whole the wounds of hatred and scorn; a conversion experience that freed him so much that he was willing to lay down his life for another.

Freedom is that when we do something, we do it because we are sincere and willing, and not because of a role to be fulfilled, an expectation to be met, a consequence to be avoided, a higher power and authority we are afraid to offend. That when misjudged, we are able to walk away with a clean conscience and not fight our way through to present our case. That when astray, we are able to humbly acknowledge our faults and return. That when alone, we are able to feel comfortable and not be suspicious of how others may be thinking of us. 

Freedom is the confidence we have in ourselves of who we are, and yet at the same time, being unafraid of admitting to our strengths and imperfections, and being patient with ourselves as we work on these imperfections. That our emotions are not dependent on other people and external factors and our actions are not reactions towards others. That our hope and love are not affected by our unpredictable humanity and life circumstances. Freedom is to be detached from worldly, inordinate desires so as to be attached to God, in whom we are free to love and give of ourselves without a need to withhold, to live in the abundance He has given us and not to hog on to our possessions as if to lose them is to lose our lives. Freedom is to live securely as children of our heavenly Father every moment of every day in His unfailing and loving embrace.

The question now is... How free are you, really?

Who/What are you most affected by? How have these people/experiences caused you to feel?

How may God be urging you to let Him open the gates of your prison cells?

Devotion for School Assembly - Love

Consider a mother who, after being abandoned by her husband, takes up 3 jobs and works 16h a day to bring up her 3 young children.

Consider a husband who has a wife, bed-ridden because of a road accident. He has to give up his full time job and a high salary to take up a part time job with a lower pay so that he can be at home to take care of his wife.

Consider a stranger who, in an airplane crash on the runway, stays behind in the burning aircraft to help move people out of the craft instead of running away to safety. And ends up with severe burns herself.

Consider a man who knows that his wife is having an extra-marital affair and is cheating on him, but who continues to wait for her to return to him instead of cutting her out immediately in a divorce.

What is common in all these four real life stories? It is this element of suffering. The people in these stories are suffering in some way. In short, they have given up themselves and dedicated their attention and life to the well being of others. And we can find many such scenarios around us.

But… Today’s topic of devotion is not about suffering but about love. But perhaps, this is precisely why I bring up the idea of suffering in this devotion. Because love entails suffering. I cannot understand love without the inclusion of suffering. But it is also this suffering element of love that the world today considers so silly, illogical and impractical. The world says that love is pleasurable. Love comes with a condition – that my own self interests are well guarded and preserved. Well, if these definitions of love the world teaches us are right, then what can explain a population that is becoming more broken, more hurt? Angrier, more frustrated? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. What kind of values are we learning and being taught today?

Increasingly, people are losing their sense and understanding of what love really is. God and religion is a waste of time to more and more people because, especially in the Catholic faith, the values that God teaches us are just not applicable in the “real” world. But what is a real world and what is a fake world? Perhaps, we have turned these 2 worlds inside out. We make a fake world into the real world, thinking that we can get away with the evil we do, bluffing ourselves by not keeping in mind the judgement we will face before God at the end of our lives. And I’d like to think that God will not be looking at our certificates and pay slips, our job titles or the size of our house, brand of our cars. He will be looking at what lies in our hearts. Have we loved? If we have truly loved, then like the four people in my beginning stories, we would have felt the pain of suffering, of giving up of ourselves for the genuine well being of others in whatever ways that takes up.

Our God isn’t a God who just talks about an ideal love. He lived it out Himself and by His example, we are shown that such a love is not just right but is also possible.

In the 1^st letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians, it is written:

Love is always patient and kind; love is never jealous; love is not boastful or conceited, it is never rude and never seeks its own advantage, it does not take offence or store up grievances. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but finds its joy in the truth. It is always ready to make allowances, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. Love never comes to an end.

How do you define love?

Medicine & Bandages, Plasters & Stitches

Once upon a time, teaching was a vocation; a special call to nurture, to impart, to build. Some might argue that it still is. And truly, it still is. In the real sense of what being a teacher ought to be, it is. When people choose this path as a response to an inner desire to form and mould. Not because of a lack of a better alternative income-source, bringing not with them a list of personal agendas to fulfil. I am blessed to know a good number who are truly concerned about their students. They hold true to the responsibility of their call.

Once upon a time, being a doctor was a vocation; a special call to heal, to nurse, to save. And again, it still is. Only when a doctor's heart has his patients at its core. Far more than monetary gains or recognition. When his heart seeks out the ways he may use his God-given talents to be God's healing touch to the sick and suffering. And I am extremely blessed to have a couple of genuine doctors caring for me. 

Once upon a time, a child would aspire to be a lawyer because he wants to be a voice for the voiceless, upholding justice and standing for righteousness. Not because he wants to make a statement about himself in his entrance into law school or the number of cases fought and won. Not because he wants to use this as a platform for self-glorification but to disarm the powerful and raise the lowly and oppressed. I have not met lawyers in their jobs but I know there must be many good ones out there. 

As we watch our world shift, values and motives seem to be turned inside out. 
Selflessness gives way to self-centredness.
Truth gives way to lies.
Sincerity gives way to hypocrisy.
Right is made wrong, and wrong is proclaimed as right. 
Love is termed stupidity, and self-preservation practical.
"No man is an island" gives way to individualism. 

Are we happier? More at peace? 
Are we building or are we destroying? 
Do we feel strengthened or do we feel eaten into? 
Do we feel nourished or do we feel taken advantage of?
Do we feel whole or broken? 

Do you, like me after a day's work, feel so full of angst and highly strung?  

I sat there before Mass began today, feeling the gratitude of being able to return after each day. To have someone I can return to. And not just anyone but a someone who will always welcome me with open arms regardless how his day went and how I have been that day. I have never quite saw him from this angle before. But for the fact that the day has been far more imperfect than I would have liked it to be, I felt anew that I have come, precisely, to seek his embrace not because I am victorious and virtuous but because I am in pieces, battered and bleeding, sinful and fallen. I have come because I am so desperate for healing. What he said is so true, that he has not come for the healthy but the sick. It isn't holy people who need God but those who are lacking and have desires to be filled.

And as I recounted the day, I deliberately focused on the moments I felt loved. I found many such moments. Much to my surprise. And so, as I was running after the healing embrace of God, little did I realise that throughout the day, I was already in that embrace. He had me surrounded by His love but I was too distracted to notice. Too caught up in my own emotions and busyness. 

What will I do without Him?
What will I be without Him who neutralises my emotions and returns to me my balance everyday?
How will I face the many people who seem to require much more love and patience than I have the capacity to give?

How about you?
How do you cope?
Who do you return to everyday?

‘Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.’ (Jn 6:68-69)

Conversations on the Runway

What would you say upon hearing the news of a first class honours graduate being made paralysed after getting knocked down by a lorry?

What would you be feeling if you knew of someone, newly wed, whose spouse has just been diagnosed with fourth-stage cancer? 

If you are like me, you might find yourself sighing. Sighing because it is such a waste. The new graduate has a whole life ahead full of opportunities and possibilities. The couple has just begun their lifetime together, only to have their hopes and dreams shattered at such an early stage. 

On board the airplane, stuck on the runway in the long queue of planes taking off, my mind could not help but wander, wondering if the plane ride would be safe. What if there was going to be a mishap? What if this ride would mark the end of my earthly journey? 

It is tempting and natural to question what God's plan is for this graduate, this couple. Why does He place them on a new beginning, complete with hope, just to snuff out this same hope, leading them to a dead end? 

If my life were to end in that plane ride, will I not also be questioning what really is this God doing to me? It is as if He breathed life into me without a purpose, and takes me out before I can contribute or accomplish anything substantial at all. What then is my training for, my education, my struggles and growth, my learning and maturing? What then are my gifts for? What then is my life for? If it were meant for such a smallness? Then, as I recall how it is said that God delights in His people, I must also arrive at the conclusion that this God must be out of His mind to delight in a life so minute. 

But perhaps not. Perhaps there exists a far more profound way of finding God in our lives than what meets the eye. 

And I found myself arriving at the point of no regrets. That if I were to know my end would be so near, and my accomplishments so negligible, I would still have chosen the path I have chosen for the past 3 years of my life. Of walking ever more closely with Jesus. Of struggling against my many weaknesses and sinfulness to clear out the clutter in my heart so as to enter into a deeper union with Him. Of hanging on each time the cross became so burdensome and illogical. Of returning each time I roamed off on my own. Of standing up after each painful fall. Of giving what I consider this bit my all.

Because despite my perfect imperfections, to enter into this relationship, to grow deeper and deeper in this loving and most beautiful relationship, is to enter into life itself, is to become more and more alive, is to infiltrate the mystery of God's divinity to encounter a love that is beyond all human experience.

It is as if suddenly, nothing else matters any more. My end and even my vocation do not matter, be it how or when or where. Suddenly, what my future holds for me lost its power to alter the preciousness of my life journey. For what stands in the spotlight of my life must be my relationship with the God who walks on with me and in each moment of my present, it is how I encounter and respond to His many disguises that gives depth to the purpose of my existence. 

It does not matter, though we still feel sad, that a religious who has just returned from his studies is suddenly struck with a terminal illness. Because the focus is no longer on the quantity of his putting to use all he has received in his formation but on the quality of his daily witnessing to the world of a God so easily forgotten. Because whatever the vocation, the state of life, the stage of life... all are for one single purpose - to come to know God more intimately, love Him more ardently and to walk more closely in all His ways. And if this is lived for everyday, then we will be contented and at peace. 

Are you contented and at peace? 

Courage in the Night

When you last looked up at the night sky hanging above you, did you notice the stars or was it a cloudy night? Or perhaps, you do not remember because you did not focus on what is up there?

The night and its darkness hold different meanings to different species in the animal kingdom, and evoke different emotions in different people. 

But far more than the exterior, we sometimes find ourselves engulfed in a darkness that exists within our hearts and lives. A darkness that does not quite come and go as predictably as the regular giving way of the night to the day (even across seasons!). A night as cold and long as the Antarctic winter. A night in which some have somehow erected such a gigantic floodlight to overpower the darkness with the loudness of its light, creating an unnatural and false brightness that never grows dim, and thus, a world that fakes the absence of darkness. 

The night reveals to us what lies hidden in the day but nonetheless remains, undoubtedly, a reality of our world. The night reveals to us the stars that occupy the universe insofar as we keep our floodlights switched off. While the stars in the sky form a beautiful sight, what is made visible to us in our interior darkness form, more often than not, the ugliest sight we would rather shun away from or make invisible by covering them up with our floodlights.

Yet, to be made increasingly perfect in Christ, to be trekking along this tedious and arduous route towards our life's destination, we need, more so, the courage and sensibility to accept and remain in the dark and observe all that is shining out and calling for our attention. Be it a relationship not mended, a hurt not forgiven, an encouragement or word of thanks not uttered. 

In a nutshell, what are the things that are causing you and I that lousy, prickly, uncomfortable, heavy feeling that we seem to be dragging helplessly around across night and day? How have we been reacting to these "stars" that are shining at us, calling for our attention and action? Will our choice be to embark seriously on a reflection on those "stars" or to turn up the floodlights, surround my life with the awesome and powerful "Dolby sound system" that may be disguised as working overtime to finish my work, sleeping excessively, meeting up with friends everyday for a sumptuous meal to "pamper" myself...? All these distractions fake the "stars'" absence and it is natural to slowly but surely forget their existence altogether.

In every darkness, there is a star or more to be noticed and studied by the astrologers. In every dark spot of our lives lie a blockage to be noticed, dug into and ironed out, and which keeps out our peace and joy until the channel is cleared. 

The thing is... How courageous do we want to be in the darkness of our lives?

A New Presence

This afternoon, I attended the wake of my former student, who has been in a coma for a little over a year. His sister came over to me. We've met just a few times when I visited at the hospice. She said she's a little sad. I found myself saying to her, "Kor kor will still be seeing you... from heaven. And you'll still get to see him. Just that, this time, you'll see him in your heart."A new way of being present to each other. No longer physically but in spirit. The same person, the same love, the same importance and intimate relationship, taking on a different form of be-ing.

Partings are never easy when one shares in a deep relationship with the other. And I believe it was the same for the apostles and the women we see in the Gospels in the time between Jesus' death and resurrection; the sudden dramatic departure of their Master brought them a deep sadness and loss. But there came the Resurrection, Ascension and Pentecost. 

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In this series of events, the apostles and the faithful women had to allow the presence of Jesus in their lives to take on a new form. Moving from the familiarity of His physical presence with them before His death, then seeing Him in a form they could not recognise as in the case of Mary Magdalene outside the empty tomb and the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, recognising Him in their hearts as their " hearts burn within... as he talked... on the road and explained the scriptures..." (Lk 24:32)  and thereafter, being sent forth in mission, during which, in spreading the good news, in founding the Church of Christ, in continuing the legacy of their Master, they went beyond the need for His physical presence. For this presence is more than within their physical space; Jesus began to live anew in their hearts and is present in the very work they did, in their very lives, and even becomes the purpose for their living. They became truly one in union with their beloved Master, and what deeper union can there be?

Rome and Assisi are two very special places to me. I have been blessed to visit each twice. I asked myself if I need to go back again. It would be nice if I had the chance to but if I don't, that's alright too. I have come to understand that a physical absence does not mean that they now become any less dear to me or that I feel a weakening connection with them. They have taken a different form of presence in my life and more so, my love for them grows and concretise. They are now deeply and permanently embedded in a very special space in my heart. Whenever I get in touch with their presence in my heart, I am reconnected in a nostalgic reminiscing, treasuring with a grateful heart the spiritual transformation in those encounters which have shaped me into the person I am today. 

To be separated is not making smaller or less significant a person, a love or a relationship. 

Are there people in your life you hold really dear to you? And perhaps, for some reason, you are called to let go of an old way of being in relationship with this person so as to embrace the new? 

What was your response? 

Turning Up the Volume of Faith in Papa Benedict

Tonight, Pope Benedict XVI leaves his pontificate. Looking back at the start of his journey brought some thoughts. 

Taking upon himself the weight of the Church, flawed as she is, he faced the inevitable criticisms that arose from comparisons made between him and Blessed John Paul II. 

Be it his appearance, charisma, spirituality, personality, mannerisms, leadership, to many, Pope Benedict falls short. Period. Some cannot wait for a new pope to be elected so that the era of chants and Latin inclusions in the Mass can at last be sealed in its grave and remembered without fondness as a thing of the past. Some hope for a leader who knows what to say in the correct time and place. 

Many people felt that he would not be able to fill the shoes left behind by the previous pope. In some ways, this may be true. After all, they are not clones but unique individuals with their own personal spiritual journeys and formations according to the Holy Spirit's execution of God's Will, these among many other background differences. But perhaps, not to see them in a comparison but as separate entities, outstanding in their own ways, each having a specific purpose, each contributing their gifts, strengths and weaknesses, unknown to our human comprehension, in the history of the Catholic Church, in ways that we can only see at the completion of God's salvific plan.

Before I read Pope Benedict's Jesus of Nazareth vol. 1 and 2, I had very little knowledge of this man. But today, I hold him close to my heart as a fellow pilgrim on earth because I know we both share a common love for God, a thirst for the Divine. In his writing is revealed who he is, what he stands for, his beliefs and values. His profound image and understanding of God is not something that can be borne out of reading and analysing or by engaging in an unending discourse about what is. It can only be the inspiration of the Holy Spirit who unveils, opens up, teaches and reminds.

We all have our hopes and expectations of a "dream pope" just like a girl dreaming about her "prince charming". And when we see one who is rather different from what we 'know' is best for the Church, we turn around and walk away, disappointed, resent the current and await the next.

Brings to mind these questions:
What if I were to live as a Jew in Jesus' time? 
What would be my image and expectations of the promised messiah, my "dream saviour"?
Seeing that Jesus opposed every preconceived idea of what a king ought to be, dashing my hopes of my "dream king", would I still believe in Him in that time and space? 
Would I be able to turn down the volume of my self-righteous thoughts and turn up the volume of faith?

How about you?
What thoughts and sentiments have you had from the beginning about Pope Benedict? 

If I Were...

If I were there as a photographer, I would try to capture that scene from different angles. I would pay attention to the artistic quality of that shot, stabilising my camera on a tripod.  I would take hundreds of shots, especially the closeup ones that focus on his anguished look, before choosing the best few that would serve to evoke the strongest emotion or thought in my viewers. In the end, I am pleased with my shot, at its overall effects. I sure am good in photography. 

If I were there as a painter, I would set my mounted canvas on my easel, park myself in front of that scene on a stool, and having chosen the best angle that best captures the moment, I would begin my eventual masterpiece. In the end, I would attach a price to it and sell it for a good return. I sure am good at what I do. 

If I were there as a musician, I would bring along my keyboard and compose a morbid sounding melody that would evoke the guilt and depression of the onlookers and passersby. It would definitely be in the minor key. I might then alter the mood of the music into one that is brighter, changing the minor into a major key, and bring about a shift in the moods of the listeners, manipulating their experience with my music. I sure am good at using music to influence others. 

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It would be all too easy for us to approach the scene and do what we do best with whatever talents we may have. But what if the call is for us to approach this scene with a different identity? What if the call is for us to be there not as another passerby or bystander, indifferent or ignorant, but rather, as one for whom He hangs up there, as one whose sins have not caused Him to turn His back on us, as one whose eternal life has been purchased by His dying on that cross? 

Would our eyes still see the angles, the colours and the shapes of the clouds we need to replicate, the moods of the setting, or the notes that form a melody? Would our minds think of our viewers, our potential customers or our monetary returns, or perhaps, our listeners' responses? 

If not, then what would we see? What would we really begin to notice as we fix our eyes upon Him hanging there before us? What emotions would stir in our hearts if we were truly present there as humbled children of God, consistently being invited into that loving relationship with our Father, by our Father, who cannot ever bring Himself to give up on us? 

Do you see Him?
Do you truly see Him?

Channels of Grace

A father returns home after an exhausting day at the office. He is tired and just not in the mood. Period. He opens the door of his house and a chuckle sounds from the other side of the door and then... "Dad...dy...!!" A little toddler emerges from her little hideout behind the door and reaches out for daddy, almost missing a step. Immediately, the father is energised. He gives in to the warm welcome of this innocent child. He smiles, drops his bag, hugs his wife and picks up his little girl and starts swinging her up and down. 

In that moment, the realness of his tiredness and moodiness fades into a complete nonexistence. Suddenly, all his worries and stresses from work lose their hold of him, and he is totally uplifted again. From feeling desolated to consoled. And the evening went by. What would have otherwise been another inevitable miserable and gloomy night was transformed into one which was joyful, hopeful and heart-warming.

Have you ever had one of those days too which later unfolded into a totally contrasting experience? 

What are the things, who are the people who weigh you down, that cause that depressing blockage within you that prevents the river of life from springing forth from your heart?

Who are the people, what are the things which, in that encountering with, lift you up, put back that smile on your face, energise you, and leave you with a calm? 

What causes your daily ups and downs?

Our consolations are channels for God's graces; the source of strength we need to see us through our down moments, and far more than just seeing us through, they lift us out of those dreadful moments. It may be a child's chuckle, a gentle, cool breeze blowing upon our faces, a beautiful sunset, a favourite song, a friend's firm and gentle grip of our hands, a friend's presence, an afternoon of coffee and cakes with colleagues or just simply a good movie. 

Just as there are specific things and people who seem to always set us in desolation, so too are there those that move us into consolation. Sheila Linn in Sleeping with Bread wrote that we need to do more of the things that give us life. Amidst the many things we do everyday, we need to deliberately choose to dedicate more time to the things that are life-giving for it is from these that we can draw strength and energy.

However, before we can make discerned choices everyday and in every waking moment, we need first to arrive at a deeper awareness of who we are as a unique person with different consolations and desolations, allowing these inner movements (the consolations and desolations) to enter into our consciousness and speak God's Will to us. 

So... What caused your up moments and down moments today?

Prayer - Bearing Your Trademark

My dear Jesus,

Sometimes, when I face the demands, expectations and unjust treatments thrown at me, I cringe in depression and wonder where You may be hiding in all these. I forget all too often that You are with me and with You, no giant can oppress me. 

Move my heart and influence my reaction towards all that I find tough accepting, and help me to believe that Your love and grace are enough for me, especially in those most difficult moments when Your glory shall shine through my life ever more brilliantly as Your strength and power lift up the weak person that I am from my helplessness.

In Your loving embrace, hold me secure and comfort me, as I in turn share Your love with others. May my life this day bear Your trademark of the cross of love.

The Lord Hears the Cry of the Poor

How do you feel when you switch on the news channel or flip the papers and read about that 23 year old girl who did not survive the inhumane torture on that fateful night in New Delhi, one of the largest economies in the world? Anger? Helplessness? Disgust? How do you really feel towards the victim, her male friend, the gang? How do you feel towards the Indian government? The Indian culture? Indian men? And perhaps, as a result, towards God?

While some have appealed for peace and calm, is it truly possible to feel peace and calm within, in the face of such injustice? Can anything really appease the fire burning within, the soul's outcry for justice? Perhaps the death sentence of those 6 men? And for that matter, of all those who have ever committed such a demeaning act? Can any amount of torture, caning, fine, jail term, death sentence diminish or alter the cruelty that have already stained the innocent lives? The shame and scars permanently left? 

Does not the anger within start the mind on the generation of even more cruel ways of getting back at those men? Skin them alive? Immerse them into boiling water? Perhaps even castrate them? Sure it can quell the anger in our own hearts. But to what extent can these bring about the healing that the victims and their families really need? 

Where is God in all these?
Where is God when He is most needed?
What kind of God do we have who seems to sit back and do nothing in the face of suffering?

In our limited capacity to love, we are indescribably disgruntled. How much more it must have pierced the heart of Jesus. When our unknowing and incomplete understanding of God's Will put our faith to the test, shaking it right at its foundations, and we begin to question if there really is a God somewhere up there, can we hold fast to our believe in this God who always keeps His promise, who loves us far more than His own life? Can we trust still in the hope that God hears the cry of the poor and will raise them up from their nothingness, that He has always been and is still continuing to be at work in the world to bring about our salvation? 

Is He not found in those who have taken to the streets to put pressure on those who have been less than responsible in maximising their authority and resources for the voiceless, and who perceive their mediocre efforts as "best"? There are thousands who have felt and have owned up to their feelings towards all these injustices and are now standing up for justice, to be the voice for the voiceless. Is He not found in the specialists who worked tirelessly, trying their best to preserve the life that was discarded by others? Is He not found in our own hearts, in the hearts of those who have stormed heaven with sincere prayers? Is He not found even in the death of the victim, whose every wound, every scar, regardless of its depth, is now fully healed and made whole and perfect again with the fullness of God's love that He must have received and embraced her with? What would life be for her should she have survived and lived on?

Peace and calm can only return when we decide to let go of our mixed feelings and our need for everything to be under control and in order, and then humbly seek God's healing (because we are wounded ourselves by such savagery) with the childlike trust in the hope that in His hands and with His love, all will be ironed out. To allow Him to help us forgive even when those involved really do not seem to deserve any forgiveness, keeping in mind that even in our "lesser sinfulness", we too do not deserve the death of an innocent Man who died for all sinners, "big" and "small".

The 3rd and 4th verses of this song (found in Breaking Bread hymnal):

Every spirit crushed, God will save; 
Will be ransom for their lives;
Will be safe shelter for their fears, 
And will hear the cry of the poor.

We proclaim your greatness, O God,
Your praise ever in our mouth;
Every face brightened in your light,
For you hear the cry of the poor.

Where in our lives have we in large and small ways been robbed of our human dignity?
Where in our lives have we in large and small ways robbed others too of their human dignity?

Song - Make Me Whole

Praying with Silence

Not too long back, I was engaged with a friend in a conversation. And there came a moment of silence. I cannot recall for how long it really lasted but it was one of those silences that I would not mind it continuing for long. A very rare occurrence. There was no eye contact but in that silence, I felt the whole space around us being filled with the fullness of emotions. A connectedness and togetherness that need no words for an ongoing communication of ourselves to each other - of what resided in the depths of our hearts about this shared relationship.

Even as time passes me by, I still at times think back and reminisce that silence, which brought me to realise how quality time spent with another can actually just be a conversation with this type of silence. I need not find the right words to convey less perfectly my true intentions and desires. Neither do I have to worry that the other misunderstands me because this silence speaks of a mutual understanding that words can only distort and under-represent. 

Have you ever tried this silence with someone close to your heart?

This encounter with silence led me to accept, in my own friendship with Jesus, that at times, the best prayer is spoken in this same silence. Sitting down beside Him, not knowing what to say because so much have happened, so many emotions that all seemed mixed up and too varied to really begin to name them one by one. 

In that silence with Jesus, like the silence shared with my friend, there is the continuous communication of what resides in our hearts. After having walked closely together through the cycles of rainbows and storms in our lives, roughing it out together and coming to know each other more, do we really need words to communicate that one thing that still holds our friendship in an ever stronger bond - mutual love? Can any words complete this task? Perhaps, in that silence is the moment of savouring the sweetness of the friendship, the company of each other, the enduring commitment to continue walking with each other. In that moment, I am connected with His love, and I respond to His love with my love too. 

I am grateful for this dear friend of mine, who, in our friendship, allows me to catch a glimpse of what my friendship with Jesus can be like. 

Have you ever sat with Jesus and prayed with silence?

How may Jesus be inviting us, as Christmas arrives, to sit with Him, and far more than just sitting with Him, to make room in our hearts to welcome Him in?

Prayer - Make Me Whole

Lord,

You know every wound that needs Your healing,

every weakness that needs Your overturning,

every sin that needs Your forgiveness,

every fear that needs Your calming,

every anxiety that needs Your peace,

every doubt that needs Your assurance,

every pride that needs Your humbling,

every unknowing that needs Your light. 

I ask, with faith and confidence in Your infinite love for me, that by Your body and blood I receive now in the Eucharist, You come more fully into my body and soul, mind and heart, and restore me to wholeness again.

Amen.