Allocutio for Our Lady of Victories Presidium - 7 March 2017
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What is the difference between a meeting with a
good old friend and potential parents-in-law?
I have had potential parents-in-law before and
meeting them brought me more stress than meeting anyone else. Imagine that
first meeting! I paid tremendous attention on the way I dressed, sat, ate, and spoke,
even on the amount of food I put on my plate. I put my usual flaws before me
all the time and watched very carefully not to say anything to give myself
away. What a silly insecurity I had, which did not trust that I would be loved
for who I am. And so, I had to give the impression that I am virtuous and
well-mannered, and will be a good partner and future addition to the family. I
needed their approval. And I was not going to be totally transparent and honest
about who I am. At least not yet. Maybe not until the relationship develops
further to a certain level of trust and comfort. And that is only maybe.
How pleasantly different it is when I think about
meeting a good friend instead. I feel immediately at ease. Relaxed. For I know
the approval has already been given, in good times and in bad, in my beauty as
well as in my ugliness. I trust my good friend to enjoy my strengths and walk
with me through my weaknesses. She pains with me in my difficulties and is relieved
with me when things turn for the better. All these I am drawn also to do and be
for her. Have you encountered such a relationship before?
I dare to tell her how she has hurt me or to argue
over a disagreement because I trust in who I mean to her and can feel secure
enough to be dead honest. Each encounter is marked by the quality of the time
spent together, the depth of sharing invested, and the life and love I (and
she) receive from the encounter. There is growth, connection, deepening and I
learn more about myself and her and others and God.
Two different meetings, bringing out very
different essences of me, and two starkly different experiences and effects on
me and the other.
What is prayer like for you? When you meet Jesus
and Mary in prayer, who do you meet? Who do you present to them? Do you notice
any reservations or discomfort about being your true self in prayer?
In the past 2 weeks, I shared about
evangelization, a facilitation of another person’s true encounter with God by
being love to the person. Being love by first being loved ourselves, firstly,
by God in prayer.
“The object of the Legion of Mary,” as stated on
p.11 of the Legion handbook, “is the glory of God through the holiness of its
members developed by prayer and active cooperation…” And on p.13, “While on
earth her (Mary’s) life was like that of any other, … always, however, she
remained intimately united to her Son and cooperated in … the Saviour’s work…”
Jesus invites us to follow Mary’s example of
always being intimately united to Him. And a prerequisite of this intimacy is
being authentic with Him. He knows all that is in us and already loves us as we
are. There is no need to do anything or be anyone to win His love. He desires
to be with the real us in our real experiences, not the façade of who we want
to be or portray ourselves to be.
So when I am angry, even with Jesus, I tell Him I
am angry and complain to Him about Him. When I am hurt and cannot forgive, I
tell Him that I know I should forgive this person but right now, no! And I
throw my tantrums. Not because He does not already know what is inside me but
when I articulate it, I am acknowledging and expressing what is otherwise
trapped or suppressed inside. This primarily benefits me. And then in whatever
I am experiencing, He speaks, persuades, moves my heart, reveals, guides, loves,
heals, forgives.
Some of the fruits of such prayer are a deepening personal
relationship with God, our growing into the likeness of God who is love, and
the bringing of this love into our relationships with others – evangelization.
Slowly but surely, let us allow ourselves to be
loved and filled for the apostolic work by a more authentic prayer life.
